Give it to me Straight – Friends for me?

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Gay Fresno is starting an advice column and would like to answer your questions. Remain completely anonymous. We welcome questions from both men and women. This service will officially launch at pride this year, but you can get your questions in now!

So, go ask your question and get the honest advice you deserve.

Our third question and answer has now been posted, read it by clicking Read More

Question:
I’m a 23 year old female and I’ve lived in Fresno for the past 3 years. I was a college student for 2 of those years, but now I’m in the real world. I had great relationships with the friends I made while at school, but none of them were from Fresno, so they all moved away, and I’m left. I have a group of people I hang out with, but I don’t have any solid friendships with them, since we don’t have much in common. I’ve gone out to clubs and bars, but I never seem to be able to hold a full conversation that leads to more while I’m there. I’ve also tried meeting people online but it seems as though our schedules never match up.  How do I make friends now that I’m not in school anymore?

Trouble Making Friends

Answer:
Hey Trouble Making Friends in Fresno,
First things first. You have a new friend! My name is Katrina Marie, and I’m always looking to make new friends, and I’d be more than happy to be your friend.
I understand the struggles of being new in town can be really difficult, and even more so when there are few to no familiar faces. I totally get the school friends, leaving isn’t easy for anyone to go through, even if they weren’t super duper close. But, the bright side is that you can use the same methods you used to make school friends, to make new friends out in the world.

There are many social groups around Fresno, and tons of social events going on all the time. One of the biggest social events for the GLBT community in Fresno is coming up on June 7th, Fresno Rainbow Pride! Which as many know, pride is a time where people just like you, who aren’t in school, or work etc. can come and meet people looking for new friendships.

As for making friends in clubs and bars, it is to my understanding that people don’t go to these places to make friends, but rather to get hook-ups and to make acquaintances.  I understand that most LGBT+ events are held in clubs and bars, so there is the occasional time or two when it is a good atmosphere to make new friends, but there are many others that provide the same atmosphere without the "special juice."
As for the internet thing, you should be careful; the internet can be a very scary place when it comes to meeting people.

So, to get back to your question regarding making friends now. Use Gay Fresno’s resources to find events going on around town that are GLBT+ friendly.

Some of the best advice I can give is to go out to these events or organizations and when someone does introductions declare yourself proudly. More than likely there is someone there who shares the qualities you are looking for in a friend. And remember, more than likely there is someone there who is just as scared as you are.

I hope the information and advice I have given is helpful to you in your quest in making new friends.

Your new friend,
Katrina Marie

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