Gay? Gene or Choice?

My personal opinion is that it can be both. I think some people are born gay and some people have the choice to be gay.  The past 11 years I have lived my life as a lesbian.

In that time I have had the opportunity to meet people from both sides of the coin.  For many years I was under the sheltered impression all gay people were just gay and that is all there was to it. Who cared why? I didn’t. I didn’t think about it. As I got older and the times passed, questions in the media and society started popping up…..why are people gay? What makes a man a homosexual? Was his father a bad father? Was his mother over bearing? Did that lesbian have a bad relationship with her mother? Was she abused by her father? Did she have a bad relationship with a man? All these questions starting coming around from all over the place. Why are people gay? Is there a gene or is it a choice?
Then I thought, why in someone’s right mind would they “choose” to be gay? It is not a fabulous lifestyle. Many are chastised for just being gay. Many people loose their families and their friends. Not to mention the right to marry, the right to serve in the military, various rights for parenting and adoption, the discrimination list goes on and on. Why would someone “choose” that? Then I met this girl and she summed it up for me. She said, “I do not choose to be gay, I choose to go with my heart and my heart chooses to love someone who just happens to be a woman” so she “chose” love. So in essence the choice was not gay it was love not gay. Being gay was just a by product of her giving into her heart. Could she have found that love with a man?  Well not if you believe in soul mates.  In her case, and there are many like her, she found love with the person not the gender.
I also believe there are those who are born gay. I believe there is a gene that predisposes some of our population to be gay. Males and females carry this gene. No matter what happens in our environments, what we are subjected to as children, we will still be gay. No matter what type of parents we have, no matter what sort of relationships we have as young adults we will still be gay. It is just our chemical make up. No amount of therapy, medication, or rationalizing will take the gay out of us. It is just who we are. This is not a bad thing. I personally am happy I was born a lesbian. I’ve enjoyed my life and continue to do so. I thank my parents and my family tree; whoever passed the gene to me…THANK YOU!!!!!!

                                                                                    Becki
                                                                                                becki@gayfresno.com

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